Online dating profile excerpts

 

Before:

Female

 

I'm probably personable and fun to be with. I like my work and I love

to dance. I like romance and finding time to relax.

 

What's wrong with these words?

This opening is too general and tentative. It lacks confidence.

Look below to see a different approach that is more descriptive and

appealing.

 

 

 

After:

 

There are certain elements of my personality that I find very curious. Like why I feel strongly that gummy bears and potato chips are important food groups. Why I’m invested and committed to my job, but still need to occasionally read People magazine and chat about nonsense with my girlfriends. Why I have a facility for dancing salsa and merengue while my brothers were born without rhythm and dance two steps behind the beat. Something I know for sure is that I’m a sucker for sunsets and a low-hanging moon over the Rincon Mountains. I’m occasionally pensive and...... 

 

 

Before:

Male

I like music. I'm a doctor who likes to have fun. I'm active and like to hike and like to travel.

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What's wrong with this?

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This client is giving a few generic adjectives that don't convey his humor and personality.

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After:

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I don’t play drums in a cover band once a month just to seem cool and prove I have rhythm. Feeling the beat of the music is kind of like a spiritual experience, and I appreciate connecting with it almost as much as being in tune with my patients. As an anesthesiologist, I know how important it is to listen and pay attention, especially when I'm figuring out where to strategically put the whoopee cushion so the surgeon can sit on it....